Inner War

What to talk about,

When I've talked about everything already

It's not that I'm alone,

Or that my struggles aren't anybody's business

It's been an adulthood since I felt confident,

In my own place

A place of pain,

A place of heartache,

A roaming inner war

I am home 

How do I express it,

When I've given the same doubts before

It's mine and mine alone,

No smoke or mirrors and no witness

My childhood was interlaced in freedom,

Now I search for it

A place of pain,

A place of heartache,

A roaming inner war

Still a fox and a snake,

Just a reminder of what's there

Fraud

Fake

Faux fortune

All in the lives of mine I've lived,

I've loved and lost and became famous

There is no more to say,

I've said it and it's stuck

What I spoke of is my misfortune

My own

It's been mine though and I'm not selling it,

It's given away to anyone else that has that spirit

One day at a time,

The standard of survival

I'm still here,

Roaming around the battlefield

Looking for a fight

Aged Like Milk

I'm old

An old man

Old Man Dan now

No longer full of spitfire I am?

Nay.

Nap-time in the afternoons, sure

I don't push to become a sprawling success

I didn't work like a dog to become one either

Dogs like naps in the afternoons

Mostly, I feel bad for those that did bark and bite all day

And still didn't get anywhere out of the doghouse or rat-race

Compared to simple animals - barely a brain among them

Hard times to put all that energy into nothing

For a slim to none chance at making the headlines

At least I've seen past the bullshit that is advertising

"American Dream"

"Work Hard Play Hard"

"Do it For the Culture"

"40 Hours a Week"

"Real Men Put in Work"

There's this macho mentality that working til death is a good thing

I guess I'm not 'man enough' to die

Oh wait, I have a penis

I guess I am 'man enough' to tell those people they have no lives to lead anyway

But guess what? I do

I'm nice, just not to those that live as cavemen and Neanderthals

I know what I have to do

I know what I have to feel

I know what I have to take

That power and throw it back at them

And it's because I'm 40 years old

And I'm still mad

I still have anger coursing thru me

It'll never go away

And I still have to deal with everybody and their moron dad

Being idiots in the workplace

I'm not putting up with bullshit

I see old-school values held onto

As if there's really value in traditional

Except hypothetically

And historically

I have to tear it all down and destroy it all

And I have to do it because I have to fight

One man versus everybody

Because I am angry and I am all the time irritated

I don't know anybody that isn't in pain regularly

Yet, all I hear is low-key complaining

As I'm doing right now.

Papa's Blues

I want it all
I want everything
I deserve everything

Nobody has the right to go against me
Or defy me
Nobody.

You piece of shit
You talk too much
You are an emotional child
You are a liar

You are wrong
Always no good
Always wrong!

Family is everything
Trouble calls
And I run to save them
Familia

It's all I have

Without them
They tell me I'm nothing
I believe them

The truth is
I don't believe them though.

I hate them
They keep me down
They all lie
They've kept me down
My entire life
But for some reason I still love them
Truth is
I'm fucked up
Beyond belief
Because of their
Beliefs

They've hurt me
But I can't get away
I'm stuck
I can't get out
Everyone else has lives to lead
Since I never did anything
I'm stuck taking care of the family
That hurt me

I don't deserve this
I don't deserve anything
I don't deserve anybody

I didn't want any of this
I don't want YOU
I don't want anything.

CZ

When I see you
I see myself

That warms my heart
You're me

When I see you
My ancestry took over

So what did you get from her?
I don't know

Maybe you'll get her heart
I'll know this

When I see you care
Show your nurturing self

When you sacrifice
For them

I know you're me

Expect nothing in return
You're her

When I'll know you are her
Is when you get quiet

Not sharing your feelings
Because you know

They'll hurt

Even though we need to
Know the truth

Know we are not all kind

Know we are selfish

Then I'll know
There's hope for you

I hope I see you

Grow

And grow

Spoons

You're beautiful to me

I like your face

I think about you a lot

You're a wonderful woman

I think you're very hot

Let's go see Killer Klowns from Outer Space

It's your favorite horror movie

Because I wanna take you to a midnight screening

You hate flying?

Oh wow cause I love to fly

But either way it doesn't matter

Cause I love you no matter what

You keep me motivated

Can't wait to spend time with you

Spooning of Spoons

Someday a jetpack

I love your humour

100% loyally yours

How much I care

So much more than I let on

I love you

Your laugh is something I always wanna hear

If you are the moon I'm lunar

I wanna touch your rear

Let's talk music, films, music and kiss

All night long

It's your sweetness that I seem to always miss

I see you and I hear a song

You're so sweet

And caring

It's nice to know that you're around

Don't Do What I Did

I pissed away the prime of my life

because I was working for punkass corporations

that didn't care about me

They bought me with trinkets instead of true independence
And I'm angry about it now

More fire than ever

To make it on my own

I'm only working with punks from now on

Independents
I will still work with corporations

But never for corporations

Selling out only on my own terms

I'll be hook and the worms

Contracts signed

I write the book I make the words

No more belief

No more sheep

An independent

Without the herds

Lots more money

I sleep better at night

Because I do it my way

Making value

All of us

Deserve better

All of us

Should feel like royalty

I do this for myself

And I do it for my family

If a schmuck like me can do it

So can you

Cause That's What I'm After (if only)

If only I'd fix my hair up a little more

So I could be pretty for once

Cause that's what I'm after

So I could be noticed more

If only my belt and clothing was more styled

I'd be more liked

Cause that's what I'm after

One day I just might

If only I got rid of those damn rugs

More love would I get

Cause that's what I'm after

Then I'd be set

I HATE IT

If only I grated blocks of Parmesan cheese

I'd develop real taste

Cause that's what I'm after

Since store-bought isn't for winners

If only my apartment had more room

There'd be peace in the world

Cause that's what I'm after

Even though I have no peace in my heart

If only I were closer to my friends

And saw them in person all the time

Cause that's what I'm after

Everyone is online and has been for a while now

I HATE THAT

If only I had a car

Because all the greats owned a vehicle

Cause that's what I'm after

To drive aimlessly around the city

If only I hated heavy metal

Since only pop music is important

Cause being popular matters

At least that's what Redditors say

I HATE THEM

If only I wouldn't criticize you

And only criticized myself

Everything I am

Is just a My Little Pony sock

I HATE IT

If only I hated myself more

And didn't hate so hard

It was me and my family's upbringing that ruined me

I'd get so far

If only I wasn't friends with my exes

Because once it's over we can't be in each other's lives

Cause that's what I'm after

Unless there's a baby involved

Then I have no choice

I HATE IT

Motion of Emotions

This is what it's like

No one is really right
Thinking there’s answers
That there's purpose

Now that you know it

I’m sure that you want it

And its lies that come along

Who do you think you are?

A prophet?

Why do you lie?
Lies made of pain
After this where will you go?
Back to one and then you're done


I'll make sure
Everyone gets what they deserve
Let me in
And you'll find yourself

You've only let out

Yourself to me

Smoked mirrors and copies
But I see you
The real failure
What you really are

A lost soul


A darkness carried
Sadistic, scarred
I'm calling you
So answer me

Speak Fast Take Forever to Die

To pay the mortgage I sing, produce, write, direct and act

As well as labor and data entry

Born rich in mind and I like to speak fast

Learned I could do poetry as an attack

Older now so positivism is in my raps

At 2PM I like to take myself two hour naps

I take good care of myself and loved one's health

Instead of going after imaginary power and wealth

Main goal in life is to be my best me

To strengthen the family tree

To spread peace

Revolutionary ideals

To make my family meals

I spin what good life is considered

By putting the car back on the wheels

Driving like a model citizen

Look people in the eyes

Not be afraid

And fight for what's right

Baby and a Girl

I think about you so much

You're part me 

I look at you and think

You're just a baby

And a girl

You have such a laugh

That I almost cry every time I hear it

It's so obvious you're so smart

I'm so proud to be your dad

You make me laugh and you make me cry

All at the same time

You make me feel incomplete 

When you're away

I think about you often

And I hope that you're at the least okay

You're growing so fast

I don't want you to

But I have to let it happen

You have to be you

I hope you'll be proud of me too

And call me Dad

I wish you the best in life

I wish you peace and joy

Such simple wishes

But I wish them the hardest 

For you

You're growing so fast

All Birds are Regular

A featherless bird.
Now that's absurd!

What about a Hummingbird?
That's a regular.

A duck?
A bird that's a quacker.

New flying dinosaurs.

The word regular,

I shake my head. 

Nothing is.

All birds are regular,

Even the peacock.

Flying is preferred,

Except those irregular.

------------------------------
Dedicated to DS Draeko.

Blue Blood

I bled today.

I forgot how much it hurts.
​I felt real again.

It didn't seem like reality,

Before.

My life sprayed out beneath.
And I was me.

It was nice,
To bleed.

​I finally broke,

My machine.

Myself.

I can build back up,

And be the same monstrosity I was.​

Maybe I can become better this time.

Who knows?

I hope.

Death Star (A song I made up while watching a movie)

The Death Star is coming!

Your world is going to die.

Your world is dead. Your world is dead.

Dead! Dead! DEAD!

What is this?

Here comes...

Luke!

Leia!

Chewie!

(Those Rebel scum!)

ATTENTION!

Death Star: Beams engage.

Death Star: guidance on lock!

Those Rebel scum! 

Attack!

Attack! ATTACK!

What is this?

Here comes...

Luke!

Leia!

Chewie!

(Those Rebel scum!)

Saving the Universe from evil Sith.

Luke is determined.

Leia is a leader.

Chewie is an Honorary Jedi.

ATTENTION!

Death Star: Malfunctioning.

Death Star: Corrupted core.

Death Star: Exploding!

Corrupting

The chatter on the internet waves,
Bickering over angry emotions.
Memes that are more funny than they should be,
A sense of loss among ourselves.
And all it takes is self-control to see and observe,
That the whole system is flawed.

I don't care,
Who hears this.
I don't care who knows this.
But I hope it's everyone.
If I'm the survivor and not the savior,
I can finally lay down my sword.

As long as they put theirs down first.

Let's face it:
Politics is for comfortable ones right now.
We, the true people,
The ones who have been misunderstood,
Or oppressed,
Or not being taken as first-class citizens,
We need to change it by actually running.

Not running from anything.
I'm talking about winning office.
AND then not corrupting.

Like the higher authorities who do very little,
Except make an appearance on TV,
They continue to play the game.
Instead of destroying it.
From the foundation up.

Because greed is villainous.
I know who I'd trust with power,
And it's not them.

There are a few good ones out there,
These are the local politicians, mostly.
But they have little power to give.
The TRUE antagonists,
Have big power to take,
As they won't surrender willingly.
They'd rather we all be in home prisons,
And few.

I wonder why the poorest don't rob the richest every single night?
Until equilibrium.

That only seems fair.

My gripe is the job of holding office is too prestigious.
The ones that run for high office have stars in their eyes,
And trust me,
I know a lot by the entertainment industry who actually loves what they do,
And who forgot what brought them into it in the first place.

So I ask you to ask yourself:
What are you doing that is actually making a difference?
Or
Is it really stepping into the shoes of those that make a difference,
For a spotlight moment or two?

I know what I do is barely anything.
At least it feels that way.
I can study and ace political science, history.
I can realize the power in myself.
How the few take care of the many.
How I'm taken care of,
How you're taken care of.
How I'm number 2 and you're number 2,
Or I'm number 3 and you're number 4.
Or I'm zero and you're number 1.
How neither of us is given personal care.
How nobody is special and everyone is similar.
How afraid we've been told,
To be of taking care of ourselves,
And not to be personal with everyone.
To stop talking politics, religion, and sex.

Without further adieu,
I'm independent of any representative system.
I'm independent of any belief except my own.
I think about sex a lot.

Wants

I want more time.

I want to keep making art.

I want to get better at it.

I want to not have to think about eating because I'm hungry.

I want relationships to be easier.

I want to have more energy as I age.

I want to let little things slide more.

I want to be more honest.

I want to be unapologetic about how I am.

I don't want to have anxiety in groups.

I want to have the option of not seeing advertising.

I want to stay a cityboy but still hold onto old-world values.

I want to spend more time creating.

I want to be a professional wrestler for a day.

I want less politics in the news.

I want less tribes and more unity.

I want writing to be read.

I want more people to work less hours.

I want more people to be able to spend time with the ones they love.

I want to go to space sooner than later.

I want to explore the universe.

I want to make friends with every species there is.

I want the dead to hear me.

I want to bring back the extinct.

I want a Utopia.

I want others to be okay with that.

Stand-In

Stand in line,
For the newest upgraded phone.
Or the hottest chicken waffle restaurant.
We are told to follow these orders.

The line is where we must stay.
We have become numbers,
That wait in line patiently to be called.

"Number 400!",
We proceed with a smile on our face.
We're no longer with those waiting.


We've moved past them.


Few have had the courage,
Towards original thoughts or movies.
Maybe you, dear reader.

Maybe you.
At least, I hope it's you.

Autonomous.
A word that brick and mortar ignore. 

Retail brings things to your door.

To get good chicken waffles,
You must wait 30 minutes standing in line.

What am I?
An actor!
A stand-in!

Of course,
I must work for my bread.
Unlike those lucky ones,

Disillusioned paying for premium.
It's all made for pennies.
But what do they care?


The real winners are the profiteers.

Spiritual Nourishment lines? 

First In. First Out.

Doesn't matter who's hungrier.

Bribe them so we don't have to wait!

"But are we that powerful?"

At least standing in line makes us ready for a new Depression.

Waiting in lines.
For subpar clothing.
Mediocre food.
Pre-recorded events.
Mass-produced groceries.

A Stand-In needs a Stand-Up.
Time is valuable. 

Standing in line as status:

Go where everyone else goes.

But make it seem glamourous.

It makes better sense,
If we were to...

Stand in line for charity.
And not be unique by it.

Stand in line,
Side by side,
For equality.

Abandoned

The ones like you who believe you are not the same,
You face consistent disappointment.

You're a snowflake but you're also water,
It's nature.
Guess what?
We're electrical.
But it's all bio-mechanical.

When you've seen one you've seen them all.

During these times of horror,
You're worried about money.
And you're in your 40s.
Who cares?
You dress like you're punk rock.

It's middle-class suburbanite.
Looking for the limelight.
Closest you've gone to rebel,
Is sleeping in on weekends.

You're home alone,
Sick and tired - scared.
Do you think anyone really cares?

No one cares about you,
You care about being together.
So we use that against you.

We know you're home right now,
In these uncertain times, we say.
It's more important than ever,
To keep movement strong.
But the only way we can do that is we keep,
Destroying your foundation together.

Together we continue,
And we can continue,
Not being there for you.

Even when the biggest fail,
Companies or organizations that give up on you.

I won't.
Because I'm not afraid of getting hurt again.

Your society,
Abandoned you.
They don't want you.

So what are you gonna do?

Cry like a baby?
Go online and make a posting?
It does nothing!

I don't wanna see,
I don't wanna leave.
I don't wanna fear anything.

I don't wanna do what you did to me,
What I'll do to you is gonna hurt you,
Like it hurt me.

Rushing to the End

Isn't life funny?
We're told we don't have much time.
But we've made it this far,
So far.

And what a life it's been!

All of a sudden there's 4 hours to have.
It's been a super busy week before.

We got a lot done, didn't we?
Let's rest up in case it gets going again.

We're valued for our money saved.
But money can't buy back our time.

Time is not money.
Time is life.

Life well used,
Is time well spent.

Isn't life funny?
We can't buy time.

It costs almost nothing.
But is the most valuable necessity.

New Iranian Stereotype

No, I didn't fly here in my magic carpet.
My car is a Honda.
They have good resale value.
I am Iranian.
I like good value.

Technically, I'm Iranian-American.
I don't love any government's style.
Though the one in America is doing well for me.
My idea for a better world?
None of your business!

I am Iranian deep in my soul.
No, I am not a spy or terrorist.
I do not start revolts; I pay my bills on time, mostly.
I use computers and other devices.

Technically, I'm for freedom.
That most take for granted.
I'm for educating the masses - with a goal of 100%.
Whether by college or universities,
Or for the people like me who read everything possible.

I am Iranian.
A regular person with very little time to spare.
I don't enjoy seeing others treated unfairly.
A modern Iranian is who I am.
My love for people of all kinds to prosper is my dream.

My people are who I love most.
Whether they are rich or poor or middle of the road.
Whether they struggle everyday like I do.
It is my duty to be there to be their support system.

As I sit here drinking my mint-flavored doogh, I think.
Of my past, of my roots.
My upbringing and my traditions.
Of my present and my future.
And my new traditions coming.

Persian is my first language.
English is my second.
At this point,
I can barely keep up with conversations in native tongue.
I'm like a tourist in a foreign country with other Iranians.

But I am Iranian. No, doubt about it.
My English language skills are strongest.
And I must use these skills to tell my story.
My stories and my people's stories.

Of being Iranian.

Listen

Your mouth.
It says the most beautiful things.
You show me kindness and affection with it.
Thank you for it being so attractive.

I love your mouth.
It can say things that push my buttons.
Your voice is so loving though,
Even if we argue, I'm wishing in my mind,
Trying to get back to you.

That mouth is beautiful,
For telling me and everyone your dreams.
I adore your dreams,
I wish them to come true.
With me and with you.

Your eyes are my favorite color.
But it all comes down to kissing you.
Because your mouth is amazing to me.

Your mouth is beautiful.
It speaks and shows love,
In the words you choose,
In its compassion towards me and others,
And physically for me only.

We're lucky, definitely.
We're definitely not boring.
I need you.
To see your smile.
To hear you sing and laugh, and to tell me you love me.
I need your mouth.