Sunday, January 31, 2010

First Date

I played billiards at 18,
Thinking I was the hotshot and a hustler.
You were a younger girl
With me for everything I had.

My car.
My drugs.
My money.
But I didn't mind at the time.

I spent our first date
Using a credit card.
It was my first time.

I never got a kiss
But I stole your friend's Digger hat.
I was being dumb.


Woman in distress.
I roll around
She flags me down
Her and her friend in need.

They are out of gasoline
"No problem" I say,
"Hop in my truck
There's a station near."

I drop them off
At their vehicle.
They start it right up
And off we go our separate ways.

Later, I find out my sister
Hates her.
What was her name?
I was seventeen.
She was sixteen.

Girl with braces. And short.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Blue Mondays

The most depressing day is when I must keep hurting myself,

When all I get is hurt.

I can't remember the last time

I laughed or the first time I smiled.

It's the most depressing day of my life and I'm not fine.

I can't go on

Like the rest.

This earth is full of blood.

It has no use for bleeding.

I have no use for myself.

I hate myself today.

I wish I would not live.

I think of all my pain.

I wish it could end.

Sunday, January 17, 2010





I am of the Earth, the Universe

I am of the Earth
The river
I flow into the lakes
I am an ocean.

I am a step of the world
One step forward, sometimes two steps back.
I am a star, and I am the Sun.
The Earth needs a mother and father.
I am not just an ordinary moon.
I am the galaxy.

I am
I am
I am
Sometimes I am not.
But I am what I am,
And I cannot change it.

I am a man. A part of the Earth.
A part of the Universe.


You think you know me, but do you really?
Am I the same when near you and others?
Do you think the desire is fresh without you?
You've been in love with yourself,
And I've been asleep.

This relation is a relief to be relieved.
It was unhealthy.
Why we stayed is because we loved junk food.
We is no longer you and me.

I laughed but inside I cried.
The reality is that.
Our failed attempt at love,
Was ambiguous in the depth of its union.