Wednesday, September 10, 2008


When my mind is gone
It'll be too soon.

It makes me mad,
I'll only live much longer.
I could die in my sleep.

Once I'm dead,
I'll be in the ground asleep.

We were born dying.
Living is trying.
To change it.
But we can't.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


If I ever hurt myself,
I'll hide it.
I can't take this pain.

I'm simple.
I'm me.

I'll take,
I've taken.
I've took a lot.
I'll take a lot more.
More pain to soothe,
My soul.

I'm simple.
I'm me.

Nothing can stop,
What stirs deep down.
Been trying to hide the scars,
That everyone judges me on.

I'm simple.
I'm me.

Let's see what you've got,
I've got a whole lot more.
More than enough,
To hurt my soul.

I am me.

I'm simple.
I'm me.

I'm simple.
I'm me.

Friday, August 8, 2008


I give you one.
I give you another.
Make it last forever.

If its with you,
We're going to be all night.
If its with you,
We're going to be all right.

Baby, baby.
You rock my world,
All night long.

Baby, baby.
You rock my world,
All night long.

Cause its you.
You know its true.
I just want to be yours,
Together, forever.

You and me.
Making rain and thunder.

I'm falling apart because..

I'm falling apart because:
I'm a tool
I'm dying of disease
Whats after death?
Evil me.
Porn again.
Reality check
The Associates
I'm rotten,
Darling, lets have another baby!
2007 - Darvish

(Poetry ideas)


Of racism, aware of.
What has my forgiveness ever given me?
Nothing can be forgiven or forgotten.

I don’t feel good.
I don’t feel right.
I don’t feel safe.
I don’t feel.

And I realize...
And I realize...
And I realize...
Of racism, aware of.

I can be proud of where I came from,
Its pride, not hate.


I don’t want you to know me,
Since I don’t want to know you.
Only to have my way with you.

I get hard,
it makes you wet.
I ache to fuck,
I love the sex.
I crave the smell,
I need that scent.

The touching is:

The touching is:


Imagine this, imagine that,
Food poison is on the attack!

Here to play, here to stay,
Causing array.
Get in our face,
We’ll kick your ass to outer space!

Scraping through your throat,
Hurt with no chance of hope.
In one cavity, out the other,
Of mind of body, one another.

All feelings numb and lost,
Payment is whatever the cost.
Pride is swallowed, no guts no glory,
No fairy tales, so this is the story.

All the lies on TV.
100% guaranteed!
You’re sucked in, you’re a sucker.
Live your lies you motherfucker.

Poisoned to die from within,
Medicine is the healing friend.
Nothing to see, just another fact,
Rat food poison is poison of attack.

Imagine this, imagine that,
Food poison is on the attack!

Here to play, here to stay,
Causing array.
Get in our face,
We’ll kick your ass to outer space!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Born This Way

You hopes and dreams aren't mine,
A doctor or lawyer is what you will be.
That is to be your life,
Your dream, our dream.

Well mother and father,
I hate to disappoint.
But I found love,
And it feels alright.

This talent is creative,
And its because I'm half you and you.
My words mean so much,
My feelings portrayed mean more.

I'm sorry but money won't,
Will not lessen the pain.
How would I feel without doubt,
How else could I let feelings out?

This is work not a game to play,
You made me I was born this way.
I don't really need you to acknowledge,
I'll never need that sort of knowledge.

Mother and father,
I hate to say it like this,
but some dreams break down,
And wither away.


Its midnight and I'm ready
To be destructive.
I do it for the cause,
Who cares about the effect.

Time to deploy.
Time to destroy.
Cause its...

Being sadistic,
Not a statistic.

Only about myself,
But damn its nice.

Time to deploy.
Time to destroy.
Cause its...

Being sadistic,
Not a statistic.

Lets make a mess.
Cause its real and its pretty.
I don't have a reason,
Lets fight.

Its time for one, and I'm the one.


It makes me mad that I had to,
Take you apart and kill you.
I wish I hadn't because you were fun,
Now I'm alone and hungry.

Where has the passion gone?
Was it in your brains?
Now its in a cardboard box off of Highway 9?
I miss that. I miss your brains the most.

I once courted and now I'm a court.
Didn't rely on judgment of force.
Now judgment is rhyme and reason,
Courtship means committing treason.

Forgiven is the passion.
The passion is forgiven.
Not to forgive but to forget.

Forget you, forget myself.


The best is out to get me.
One time,
I couldn't hold on forever.

You tried,
To have a choice in the matter.
I had a source of desire.

No more,
Not even sometimes.
When I need productivity.

I wish,
For disappearing.
Or vanishing acts.
Contained is my pride.
Restrained is my voice.

My temptation,
Is based on evolution.
This is real suffering,
These tears in motion.


Being with you brings me joy,
And comfort to my heart.
Your compassionate concern,
Makes me gloomy when we part.

Every time we lay on the bed together,
A soothing embrace we share.
Gazing into each others eyes,
No other thing could compare.

The lengths you go to keep me happy,
Surprise me all the time.
To think we've got something so real,
I'm so glad that you are mine.

Waiting for the time I see you,
You're in my mind all day.
Kissing your lips pleases me,
In the most wonderful kind of way.

These days, now I see,
We've gone so far.
With time,
Our happiness begins to show.

This love we have,
So amazing and true,
Will continue to grow and grow.


No tombstone to mark a passing,
No urn filled with ashes.
No coffin or plaque to show.
A good day to die in the air.

Everything to the birds.

The flesh,
The eyes,
All the meat.
Even the bones.

A Earthworm's best meal.

Everything swallowed up,
By the ground.
Honestly and with reverence.

A complete disposal.


I seem to think what we had was normal.
It wasn't, and you aren't.
I hurt myself and my friendships for this.
A love of vanity.

Me, myself, and I.
I am the best.
I deserve it.
At the very least.

I won't sleep with your friends.
Unless they make the first move.
It's not my fault I'm so great.
I'm realistic and they are not.

What's wrong with that?
My eyes say to go for it all.
My pumped desires lead me on.
I must not stay attached.

Me, myself, and I.
I deserve everything.
I am the Queen and King.
I won't settle for less than best.

I really cared about you though,
But it was only me.


My physical,
My mental.
My emotional,
Its all coincidental.

I have real tears.
Eyes blink.
My hand hurts from writing,
So fast my mind is racing.

Is that physical?
I lose my thought.
That was me that hurts,
Something bad is out there.

My pay for my talent and genius,
It makes me.
I am real, very realistic.
All this around me I feel.

It hurts like no other pain,
I wish it would.
I wish I could make it go away.
I wish I could.

I am hurt and hungry,
I'm always losing.
Losing is a waste of time,
Our time is money.

Winning the war is everything.
I will not lose,
You hear me?


No one loves me,
At least how I love myself.
When I'm hurt I cry,
I wish I was dead at times.

When I'm sad,
I pretend to be happy.
When I'm ashamed,
I look down to the floor.

When in fear,
I won't be merry.
When I'm afraid,
I see things blurry.

When I'm furious,
I can't think straight.
The sun is a dark cloud,
Colors aren't so bright.

I cry really hard,
When it rains it pours.
But i hate to show it,
Cause I want to be perfect.

These are idiotic troubles,
I feel betrayed.
Kicking and screaming,

I laugh but its odd laughter.
Laughter a maniac would laugh.
No one loves me,
Laugh to that.


My stomach tightens,
Like an implosion.
I swallow loudly,
My teeth they clench.

The adrenaline makes me angry,
There is fire in me.
All I'm doing is huffing air.

I hope to find my way back.
My life fades away sometimes.
I need to fight for my beliefs.
I'm tired of not standing up.

I guess I'll just act like I stand up for something.


When it experiences me.
The feel is sick,
Like it wants to hurl.
The back shivers,
Going up and down.

Deeper breathing,
Intense breath.
Eyes watering.
The muscles are tense.

Start to hyperventilate,
Eyes engage forward.
Powers are useless,
Focus on how to get out.

Being so rigid.
So fight.
Laugh and cry,
The noise sickens itself.


I won't cost a dime.
Here's a quarter.
Better head south,
For the border.
I've got everybody
In my pocket.

Make your bodies shake,
Raise the stakes.
That's the way to do it,
That's the way.

Anybody move your bodies.
Move them round and round,
Everybody make some sound.
That's the way to do it,
That's the way.

You've been here a while,
And everyday everybody.
To wake up with a smile.
You're still a nobody.

That is no crime,
If it is,
I do my time.

I say it over and over again.
You only get one life to live.


I have no mother,
Her life taken by drugs.
Friendly drugs.

I have no father,
His life taken by addiction.
Friendly addiction.

I have a brother,
Who's crazy as can be.
He likes to be loud and maybe,
He is just a great friend.

I have no sister,
Younger than me.
She is old and wise,
But she is foolish.

We were the greatest,


Thinking About you.
The one,
The only one for Me.
A love!
A love that could be...
The only thing to Make me happY.


Live life to the fullest,
But don't follow the rules.
Tax the President if you want,
If it pleases you.

Life keeps going and going,
Going and going.

Stop the aches and pains,
The horrors of my life become my business,
The business becomes my life.


The reason I am an artist,
I am not a soldier.
The reason is simple,
Art makes life interesting.
Not boring and lonely,
There's never enough art.

To art is depth,
To perceive life.
People relating,
Is people related.
More art,
Is being an artist.

The reason I'm not dead,
Though my life sucks.
Just in my head,
I won't give up.


Stupid old man.
Everything you stood for,
Was with corrupt agenda.

No more association with you,
You didn't need to know who I am.

Now look at you,
You old fart.
Helpless and alone,
All your worth in the dirt.

I'm glad you're dead,
You dug your grave,
With hate,
All you ever did is gone.

You dead old man,
Die and die again.
The world is better off
Forgetting you.


Are you Democrat or Republican?
Cause you might as well be independent.

I am not against you,
I am for America.

I do not trust any corporation,
I do not trust any politician.
I do not trust a Republican,
I do not trust a Democrat.
I am independent, its a fact.

Throw your vote away for Republics,
Throw your vote away for Democracy,
I throw my vote away to Independence.


How much you remind me.
I want you all the time,
Lets meet up tonight.

Take you out on a ride,
That would be hot baby.
Be with you tonight.

Lets talk about sex,
I like that.
Its very romantic,
I like it like that.


Behind these closed doors,
Your lies become more.
Seems we all understand,
That it was all in your plan.

Once Royalty became prone,
Killed without your crown.
You were left all alone,
Screaming without sound.

We hoped you wouldn't falter,
Lifestyle creep was abound.
Knew you wouldn't know,
The trials of standing ground.

What a pain it was to see,
What a game it was to you.
Hurt your two transparent lives,
Yours and one for other's eyes.

Awareness of being groomed,
No castle but one assumed.
These walls made of stone,
Crumbled signs of a home.

We hoped you wouldn't falter,
Lifestyle creep was abound.
Knew you wouldn't know,
The trials of standing ground.


What a heart she has given,
In such haste.
Hardest heart I've forgiven,
A terrible waste.

I never knew you cared,
Or even seemed scared.
Your emotions run like a rose,
The thorns bleed and it shows.

I've never felt so unloved,
Until I met you.
You've hurt and you crushed,
My wanting of your heart.

Never again will I give you,
Or anyone else another chance.
To start a binding,
Loving relationship.


Black eyes are that of my lover,
They have such beautiful existence.
A mind apart of mine is what it is,
The flowing of continued distance.

The darkest of dark eyes.
Into them I see her soul.
The darkest of dark eyes.
Over me, they have control.

The fool

Everything is a party,
You will say.
So eat and drink,
And be merry.

For you to keep away,
That is the game.
Whether night or day,
Its all the same.

Away from insanity,
Away from screaming.
Away from leaving,
Away from dreaming.

I might not rule,
But I'm no fool.
Give me a dream,
So I can be cool.

Give me my stupid.
Give me my drama.
Give me my hard.
Give me my victim.

You're so tough and you're a pussy.
Just a pussy.
I'm tough and I'm a pussy.
Just a pussy.
Fuck that pussy.


In a cold world,
You turn up the heat,
You make my life complete.

Now I feel so high,
Because of your love,
And that's the reason why.

For happiness and joy,
I'm here for only you,
Our lives for us to enjoy.

I'll make you my main concern,
Just like an honest man should,
The love you give is what I earn.


When I'm lonely,
I wish for rain.
It doesn't have tonight,
Just today.

When I'm depressed,
I want to sleep.
Its so depressing,
I need sleep.

I don't want the sun,
It doesn't give me anything.
Everlasting darkness is my dream,
Machined in me.

I wish it rained,
Taking away the pain.
Caused by being vain,
By going insane.

Self destruct,
I create myself again,
This time with no sin.

There is something wrong with me,
Everyday that I see.
Whats wrong with me,
Is the world.


Love to,
To make you happy.
I miss you,
My everything.

Did I choose you,
Or you me?
I want you,
The only woman I want.

My love,
I want to spread it.
My love all over you,
Hope you like it.

There's nothing,
I won't do to please you.
If loving you is crazy,
I'm a lunatic.

I'm a better person,
With you.
Your warmth feels so good,
It's lovely.


You weren't who I was looking for,
You were so nice and sweet.
But you found me anyway,
Brought me into heavy heat.

I'm into you,
So kind and nice.
In love I meant,
Without entice.

My heart ignites.
Aching delight.
Again and again.
Memory Lane.
Its true.
Its you.


Imprisoned in self-made hell,
Creation of pity made to excel.
No white or black but only grays,
In darkness we await for the prey.

The groups out there of interest,
That come to massacre the rest.
Too early to massacre yourself,
Only you stand and no one else.

The hunter is the hunted you see.

In darkness arrives the storm,
Chaos brewing becomes the norm.
Every night disguised in civility,
Angry mobs proclaim to be free.

For liberties that they must fight,
More so than God-given rights.
Keep the discipline so order is not lost,
And damned to be whatever the true cost.

Imprisoned in my self-made hell.


I have this power,
With intended need.
Use in darkest hour,
A great power indeed.

Force upon me,
Your happy smiles.
I return them,
As backhanded compliments.

Can't stop it,
My true nature.
Its not alright,
My universe.

It will always be there.

To share,
To care.
To laugh,
To cry.

Truth in anxiety,
Needed to happen.
For this society,
Now and again.

Use love,
To cure.
To make sure,
Everything will be alright.

Love is my greatest power.


Fuck brown,
Wants to be black.
Black is black,
Brown is not the new black.

Brown is the new brown.

Don't think, just do.
It's all it ever is.
Brown could never be a black
Even if it wants to be.

The original black?
And to those who say black and blue don't go together:
You don't know what it means to be original,
To think outwardly as well as inward.
Black, it's the classic,
And classics never die.


This is me,
Right now I'm high,
With much to do.

I'm doing nothing,
I'm living a lie.
Everybody gets what they get,
When they get it.

Wanting the cool life,
By doing the drugs.
Drinks for the silly,
Smokers dying.

Sit back and relax,
Enjoy the times.
We're all down,
Ashes in the urn.

Begging on the knees,
Asking for something free.
As the match is lit,
And watch it all burn.

So don't pretend,
To make the amends.
Cause anger it sends,
Thru troubled veins.

Very low,
To the ground.
Because of the high.


Where are you?
You can't hide from me.
Oh, there you are,
Hiding in self pity.

Show your face,
If you think you can.
You won't be,
You can't be.

Unless you're gone,
Betrayal keeps on.
Keeps scarring my face,
Until I bleed.

You raped my mind,
You broke my trust.
You little liar,
You piece of shit.

I won't be in your fantasy,
I'm not scared of you.
This is going to hurt,
What I'll put you through.


I've stolen your T.V.
And your radio.
Next is your heart,
And your soul.

You trusted me,
That's the price you pay.
I'm better than this,
Only in my mind.

Maybe the answers I'll find,
Is anyone listening?
Voices in my head tell me,
I'd be better off dead.

Lucky me.


Need a life,
Need for a life.
Some life this is,
A life missing.

Its not so bad,
Its not so grand.
Its my life,
Life is great.

I give up,
No I quit.
This petty life,
A life of shit.

Bloody hurt,
Hurt some more.
Poke the skin,
Whats in store.

I wake up,
I'm too hot.
The answer,
Another shot.

Blood pumping.

More bills,

To live,
To cry.
To die,
With time.

When its time,
It won't feel wrong.
It'll be alright,
When I see the light.

Poisoned in blood,
It hurts, and hurts.
Its hurts so much,
I just want to be you.


Against all authorities, anarchy appreciates an anarchist and appeals an apathetic-antitrust all around alluding angst. Anti-christian arousal acts at aviary aspects as announced altitude arrives anytime, anyplace, anywhere and approaches an aged arrogant as artistically always angry at allowing admittance although altered and annoying as appreciation after allegiance abbreviates almighty and altered accounts.

Because biblical bystanders blasted beginnings, botched brotherhoods, bred bastard boys, blessed blistering blemishes. Bishops blackball Bethlehem by being born big bilateral bigots.

Calling creature-comforts causes caressing carcasses. Cautiously combining character claustrophobia, crucified critters claiming conspicuous cauterizing conformists. Christened captives calling Christ credulous can corrupt children.

Devoured dogs didn't denote demystifying demonically driven dollars. Didn't drivel deliver drag down? Doomed de-evolution didn't do damned diligent discussions. Deranged devils dug deeper dugouts diligently.

Everything excellent excels exceptionally. (Even eccentric establishments elongating elevated everyday euphemisms.) Entities empower evil eloquently. Err....

Frankly, fatheads feather family futures firmly filling female factions flatly. Ferociousness from fatherly feelings. Fearless fingers fumble fruitlessly finding female fantasies frolicked. Fantastic fun for future families.

Good gatherers get good gossip. Great giants gather gorgeous gals. Going green gently gentrifies. Got God?

Happy heads hotly harrass heaven. Hell has hurredly hung heroes helping hemishperes. Hastily he had hanging hope. Harsh had he hurt. He'll have hot hogs, he hopes.

I impress irritants impeccably. Into irresistability I seem. Ignite it....Icy irrational insanities indulging in intimate isotopes. If imprints idly idolized impracticality impatiently inked.

Jenny's journal: Jokingly jazzed junipers jolly jeepers judicial jawbreaking jealousy. Jupiter jerryrigged junk jointly.

Killer kleptomaniacs knockout klu klux klan kings knowledgeable kangaroos knowingly known kinostetic kenosis Kayvon's kids.

Laughter lightens liver loads like lamps leading lions light loaving. Let loss lick lemons lately. Love leaks love lemons. Lear lessened lumber leads like Leonardo lives lightly. Link lakes loosely low leaving lids levitating.

More massive monikers making mushed mantles, mustering makeup menevolently mating mothers. Mere mad men massage miraged mates. Milk makes mothers mammaries messy.

No niche never necks necrophelia's nightmare naughtily needing nets nurtured not novice nooses. Nevermind Nick's nurturing namelessness.

Open ovarian octopuses ordering out on overture. Ooomph! Ostricised orthopedics ordinarily offer octangular openings over olive oysters.

Putting pieces practically pushed positively painstakingly paralyzed. Pussy packs penis pumps parasitically. Phonetically perverted pots, pans, painkillers pass poor peoples projects pathetically.

Queer quintuplets quietly quaint Queens questioning quartzed quadruplets.

Raising richochets rivets rocky roads rising rapturus rockstars reining religiously rank rosters. Real retention requests riders relenquish roaracious resistance.

Some sisters stink selfishness sullenly speaking spoken sombered songs. Silly sister, sing selflessly. Same shit, some sore spankings. Sheer structure sans sadness, skirting scaffolds. Seems suckers should shell shock some strategic similarities supportively.

To tangle tragically timeless trends turn to the tenaciously trashy tales. Tell tricksters to take tough testimony towards telling truth. Tapped torment tell these tales ticklishly.

Urban ugly urchins up uniting untimely unicorns unto Uraguay. Underwear unflatteringly understands unconditional uncles.

Vivaciously vicarious victors veil vesputed venomous venturs villainy voraciously victimized vultures veining vorous vats.

Why will wondrous whores willingly wilt womans woes with womanly walks? Well we won't wither without war. Whitey woahed wiggers with witchcraft while words worship writing.

Xenophobic Xavier x-rayed Xerxes.

Yellow yardbirds yanked yokels yarn yakking yesterday yearning yawns.

Zygoted zebra zeoulously zig-zagged zoos.


Open a window,
Close the door.
Break the stick,
Break my bone.

Kill two birds with one stone,
One is left,
One for me.
Its the way it should be.

The night is too bright,
For wandering eyes.
Keep the cryptor,
Tell the tale.

Soon all will hail,
Except for one.
He will not fail,
Cause he is my son.

Look into his eyes,
And find a surprise.
Love is fate,
Love the mate.

Know the pain,
Drink champagne.
You seem to care,
You want dignity.

Power in thought,
No one cares.
Or understands,
Unless rare.

Tired of being sad,
To be special.
Is destiny,
That is life.


Its hard to sleep at night,
Try but my body fights.
Conflict is my best friend,
With love on the other end.

So much rape and abuse.
Whats your tiring excuse?
My right is my might,
That is my delight.

So watch what you say,
And I'll keep my anger all to myself.
Too soon I'm broken,
I tried to be outspoken.

The answer is yes,
We now settle for less.
Why, when, where, and who?
Nobody knows what to do.

I sure won't miss a thing,
What the hell is happening?
Ready, get set, feeling good,
I have never been understood.

My agony in my mind,
It judges me deep,
Judges me blind.
My dirt in a heap.

My time is gone fast,
Soon I'll be dead.
Really I wanted more.

The time has gone today.
Whats left for tomorrow?


Dynasty driven,
I'm drowning in my pool of blood.
Dying to get rich.
With my failed and foolish dreams,
Of getting so lucky.

Lying to the death,
I've never given up.
Eternal ignorance for eternal life.

A midnight kiss,
A break
in a perfect line.
Everyone is guilty,
A sinner.
We are not any cleaner.

One or the other,
As for me I've done it all.
All my own time,
All my sins.

A human disease,
We created God.
Now we are the sinners,
Because our God created us.


You hurt me,
You played me.
I am now who I am,
Because you loved me.

Return the love,
The love of my life,
Come to me, my darling.

Into my mind,
Into my mind,
My life.

Well that's that,
There is no coming back.
I lay here,
Crumpled and distorted,
While you eat up my remains.

My life rots away,
As you leave me,
Return the love my darling.

Return the love,
Love of my life,
Come to me my darling.
You love me.


I hate that I can't find love,
I hate to hate love,
I wish I never cared,
So don't hate me.

Not afraid of love,
It comes back and goes away.
Goes on and off like a switch,
Icy cold heat.

Please come back soon,
I miss you,


To my father,

If I were to die,
Would you cry?
Would you be able,
To attend my funeral?

Would you act a little hurt,
While I lay in the dirt?
Money wouldn't last a day with you.

And father I am sad,
All I wanted was you to be my dad.
If I am dead,
My life to you is a book you read.

Would you lose so much,
You just may?
I won't see you more than halfway.

If you don't care,
Why won't you leave?
A father/son team is usually strong.
I haven't had a father in so very long.

We need you more than just plain old me.
That is what makes family work,

Is this how you wish to be remembered?
A soulless being,
A good for nothing?

Father you make me sick,
You're the only father I've never had.
You insist on being a dead beat dad.

I won't treat my family with disrespect.
They deserve at least that.
That is why I'm so honest,
I won't or never will cheat.

I'm a good man,
No one will think of you,
When my name comes up.
Cause we are completely different.

I am made to succeed.
And you only fail because you choose to.
A man without love or warmth in his heart has nothing,
Is nothing.


They are rich,
They are fat.
Same old Bureaucrats.
Independence is not a fact.

Independence is not a fact.

Democracy is evil with a smile,
There is no denial.
Crooked is as crooked does,
Nothing really ever gets done.

We call this free,
While paying taxes.
And others live in poverty.
So few can live like royalty.

Defeated liberty is what I mean,
Independence is not a fact.


I'm not a kid anymore,
I'm all grown up.
All I've got is money and time,
It never felt so good to be alive.

I am.

I didn't need to look my best,
It was just a regular day,
To break away from all the rest.
Goodbye as I went away.

I went far away into my head,
There is no coming back.
Left me for dead,
It's exactly as I said.

I am.

Me, myself, that's two.
Talk to me or is that you?

Money is not the answer,
And love is just a dream.
I've become what you hate,
Because nothing is what it seems.

I am.

I am who I am.
Now that I've been hurt.
Don't try to find me,
Its not what I'm worth.



I was bored.
A threat.
An angel of death,
Seeking revenge.

Darkened blood,
Those unforgiving eyes.
The hate,
Yes, I remember.

Punish them.
The guilty.
They all deserve it.
A hangman's noose.

I am.
Justice prevails,
On winged killers.

Darkened blood,
Those unforgiving eyes.
The hate,
Yes, I remember.


Whatever is out there,
Is changing light.
From green to yellow to red,
Whichever color is right.

What you've always wanted,
Will be there.
And everything you see,
Will be shared.

I think,
I thought.
I smell,
I rot.

I laugh,
I cry.
I live,
I'll die.

I cheat,
I'm caught.


I hate me,
I hate myself.
I hate what I've done.
I hate how I've treated.

I hate how I've been treated.
I hate how I've hurt others.
How little I've listened.
I hate how little I've loved.

I've never cared.
I never cry anymore.
The people that loved I've pushed away.
I'd like to break these chains that tie me.

My heart bleeds,
As my heart beats on empty.
I must be dead my heart must be.


I'm not happy now,
I won't be happy anyway.
Drugs, sex, violence,
None of this matters to me.

I'm already dead,
Maybe for another 21 years.
Until now recently,
I could think.

Now I follow the rules,
All my life I've been spoon fed.
What do I do,
What do I think,
And how to be.

I'm starting as a new man though,
A new God,
My universe is my rule,
All that is good is gone.

My thoughts of sin,
Is every thought is sin.
Here I salivate,
Until I am reborn.

I walk with my blessing,
A curse.
Evil only attacks a developmental mind,
So I walk with my blessed curse.


Its all about change,
Nothing stays the same.
Want to make a fuss,
Come and party with us.

One big sitcom,
A fucking comedy.
For everyone to watch,
Everyone to see.

All this is a test,
I won't be failing.
I always do my best,
Never settle for less.

I fight until there is no more,
No more.
So what?


I'm almost eighteen,
About to be free.
Legally go to jail,
The system will fail.

You won't stop my fun,
Cause I'm always on the run.
But you were nothing but a flirt,
All you did was hurt.

I've spotted you like all the others before.
Leave me alone you fucking dirty whore.
You better stay away,
You'll be okay.

I know a fake when I see one,
That fake is you.
You hate me?
I hate you too.

You used,
You lose,

Ego trip liar,
I hope you burn in fire.
That is my desire.
Burn witch burn.

Took me for a fool once,
But never again.
I've had enough,
Now its your turn.

Hope you feel that pain,
From being insane.
Not a player for the team,
I must flee from the scene.

Had enough but you keep coming back,
Destroying everything in your path.
You think you are hot,
Guess what?
You're really not.

Bitch Goddess.

Mary Jane


You made the days go by slow for me,
You taught me to relax.
Taught me to dream my dreams.

You opened me to a world I knew existed.
Freedom and revolutionary thoughts.
You helped me love myself and love others too.

Most of all I learned that you weren't helping me,
By letting me do nothing.
Because I loved you too much.

You were the answer to my problems I never had.
I know your ways aren't your fault,
You are like a drug and I'll always want you.

I have to be honest here,
You've been not that great.
Especially to an addict like me.

You've made my life full of comedy and drama,
So I have to leave you.
Because you were bringing me down.


I may go back to you,
But only for a one night stand.
I can't get emotionally attached to you again.
I hope you understand.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


A pen knife in my chest,
I feel no blood.
My mind reloads,
I'm not dead.

I go too fast for even me,
I'm using a hundred percent.
Everywhere I am,
Everywhere I've been.

All that I've seen is nothing,
Compared to what I can do.
My mind reloads,
I've got more to spare.

Till tomorrow at least,
I'll live again and anew.
Each day is life,
And I begin to breathe.

Flex my muscle,
Flex the hustle.
Attack my vein,
Kill the brain.

My doorway into pleasure,
Damn it now.
For good measure,
Scream if you make a sound.

Dream for a reality,
In sleep I stayed.
I saw the future,
Only the one I made.


Its everyday,
I bleed.
I bleed in color.

And everyday,
Is forever.
Forever conflicted.

It feels so cold,
Since I've lost my hold.
My soul is sold.

People say I can sing,
Not sure what they mean.
Maybe I roar.

I've justified myself.
So I say what I'm going to say,
I'll do what I came to do.

Don't worry though,
Its only a lifelong scar.
Its justified.


What is the reason,
For this eternal wake?
Goodbye good nights sleep,
I must be some kind of freak.

All I do is toss and turn,
Stop moving around this way.
Mind my body as it learns,
Its already the next day.

Because my age,
I can't sleep.
All this rage,
Must be a creep.

This state of mind,
Is mine indeed.
When I wake up,
I must pay heed.


Right now I'm in the middle,
Just a piece of meat.
Torn apart at the edges of my bologna.
It's funny that there is no beginning and no end.

What happened to all the anger we had?
It's gone now.

Well I'm not pulling any punches,
I. Am. Me.
I'll never try to change that.

I'm not a door prize,
Not a goddamn pet.

See, I'm not so bad,
I'm ugly, and I'm fat.
Full of empty calories,
I could bust like a bubble.

I don't have the answers.
No report given,
And no retort back.

No love to give.
No glove is no love,
Well, the gloves are off.

I'm nothing but a sandwich.
Just a fucking sandwich.
Just another sandwich,
On an assembly line.
Fucking eat me.


Most people have mom or dad,
Or a football hero, maybe hockey.
Some cite Jimi Hendrix,
Some even a heavy metal band.

Then there's the rest,
They have perception.
What is the motivation?
They are their own inspiration.

They don't need motivation,
No need for a resurrection.
Or more humiliation,
No use for observations.

They are sick and tired,
Of no changes.
Man must survive,
With evolution.

I'm tired of being tired,
I'm sick of being sick.
I'm mad that I am mad,
I'm inspired by inspiration.


Everybody wants to play games,
This is what we are bringing.
Everybody wants to run and hide,
These thoughts are stinging.

We all have no life,
Everybody wants nice things.
No need for strife,
We think we are alright.

We run but we can't hide,
How hard we try.
No real choice,
There is no suicide.

Life can go on.
We do go forth.


I rush from work to see her,
She opens the door with interest.
She sees me with her eyes of desire,
I look into her with sensations of fire.

I wait for her to invite me in,
We're both nervous of what to say next.
I want to tell her how much she means to me,
Instead I say she is looking her best.

And of course I ask "Hi, how are you?",
I let her know that I adore her.
We hug and we kiss,
As our lips feel bliss.

I've wanted her to know I now know,
I care more than I thought I could.

She's changed my perceptions,
She's changed my conceptions.

The way I see.
The way I eat.
The way I drink.
The way I sleep.

The way I breathe.


I don't want to live much longer without you,
Nothing seems to matter much to me,
Without you.

I give up my sweet surrender,
Cause this life is nothing without you.
I love being with you.
My darling,
My sweet love come true.

Monday, August 4, 2008


I feel so cold,
Numb to the bone.
I cannot turn it on,
Question are not.

My pride will not allow,
My body aches.
I don't know why,
I put myself into this.

Get Ready,
Here we go.

Single file,
Up to the front.
Stand up,
Single file,

Up to the front,
Stand in.
Single file,
You little runt.

Step up,
Right Now.
Get up,
Stand up.


Seeking perfection is impossible,
Human beings are flawed.
Trying to be something your not,
Is mundane and acts of fraud.

A perfect workplace is guided,
By management only results.
Nobody wants to know why,
Just pass time and the insults.

Everyone wants a yesterday service,
With instant satisfaction guaranteed.
Implication of the unhappily nervous,
Instant gratification is the need.

Women are more apt to have kids out of marriage,
Men are like a pack of dogs more than ever.
Unlike wine, most won't get better with age,
But its altruistic facade is quite clever.

The people are less than people now,
Not the top of the food chain.
Animal behavior responding to disavow.
Attempts of the vanity in vain.


Don't worry,
Don't worry be.
Don't worry be happy.

Don't worry,
Its not the end of all time.
Don't worry,
What you feel is not a crime.
Don't worry,
We are here for you.
Don't worry,
Your dreams will come true.
Don't worry,
Life goes on.
Don't worry,
You've done nothing wrong.

Don't worry be happy.
Don't worry be.
Don't worry.


My art is nothing more,
Than being a dirty whore.
This neediness is all prostitution,
And it's quite pathetic to not be free.

A taste of success,
And I'm to think I'm doing something good.
Really I'm just getting rich and richer.
The poor stay poor and become poorer,
Not able to understand the social class etiquette.

Which is us against them.
One nation working against the government.
Communism, food stamps, and unemployment.
For them by them, not for you.
In time, there'll be a documentary about the travesty.
Good news!

No one is really rich and no one is poor really.
How many have everything?
How many die of hunger?
First world problems.

We all starved for material possessions.
Life is easy, but living is hard.
Life is hard if you're a dog in heat.

So here I bark:



Be the man that you ought to be,
Open up and quit being a pussy.
I'm just trying to be a friend,
Without someone on the other end.

Pushed around long enough,
This time I call your bluff.
Its a crime to feel this good,
I have an incredible mood.

So take me away,
Since I've got much to say.
But will anyone listen?
It is so good to be alive.

Did I just have awakening,
Money isn't EVERYTHING.
Artistry is gone,
That doesn't ruin anything.

I have the correct vision,
To take my life in control.
Once I get out though.
But I'm stuck in this hole.

You're stupid.
What I've become,
Is a bum.

Falling asleep in the slums,
Afraid and sucking my thumb.


I want to live like a nomad,
I will fish for food.
If no fish,
I'll eat berries and leaves.

I will fish,
Like a man out for survival.
I will fish,
And grow thin in the winter.

This cave as my home,
The leaves are a blanket.
The rock is my pillow,
My wife is my heater.

I will survive another day,
I am a man out for survival.
Like my father before me,
And his father before him.

I will fish.


Why must I keep hurting myself?
When all I get is the pain.
I can't remember the last time,
I laughed or times I've smiled.

It's the most depressing day,
Of my life and I'm not fine.
I can't go on and on and on,
Like the rest of you.

This earth makes me bleed,
I have no use for blood.
The sun dries me up,
I have no use for myself.

I hate myself today,
I wish I would not live.
I think of all my pain,
I wish it could end.


I think about it a lot,
Sometimes it doesn't feel right.
For me to let the world know,
What kind of nasty I can be.

I've read the Kama Sutra,
I've had a subscription to Playboy.
Yes, I've got erotica somewhere,
But I won't tell that secret.

Please go easy on me,
Cause I feel sensations.
I'm totally into you.
For lovemaking sessions.

It can be torture,
Knowing how we'd be.
Such a lovely time,
Is the company.

Are you not amused at me?
As I am aroused by you.
I'm encouraged,
That strangers can be friends.

Strange things happen to friendships.
Lightning can happen.
With many thunderstorms.
All thru long hours of a full moon.


Don't read this unless you plan to get smarter
Make your brain wrinkled and ugly.
You might have lost your mind,
But its coming back around, Slowly but surely.
Don't give up the search.

And don't give up on people.
Your friends and family.
God fearing neighbors.
Man, what are they smoking?
Oh yeah, pot.

We blame the drugs when we should blame the man.
The government, big brother, little sister.
A mirror.
Is it communism or community?

Its greener over there wherever there is grass.
Little does the dog know.
That's why he shits everywhere and smiles about it.


Imitation is a form of flattery.
But I don't need to be like anyone.
There's fear to not be liked by being unique.
But I don't care.
and that's alright.

No more being like Kurt.
He's dead.
Not another Eddie.
Or Chris.
Layne and Jerry maybe.

Can't be another idol.
Idolize me,
Idolize yourself.
Cause i won't do it for you.
Cause I'm dead too.


Its so alone in the dark
To be with no one to hold.

We all die alone.
Not so forgiving is time.
Glory falls eventually.
One straight path down.

Everything will be OK.
So they always say.
Failed darkness.
Put your trust in me.

I am your faith.
Promise me yourself.
I won't let you down.
Broken is my promise.


Its one of life's greatest joys,
Drinking the blood of a dead fruit.

How it became liquefied is anyone's guess,
Maybe in a factory.
Stolen liquid blood from a tree,
Crushing its body without a making a mess.

I even threw away the green leaves.

Could that little orange have had kids?
It sure did.
And I drank their blood too.
Its one of life's simple pleasures.

Lemonade Anyone?


There's never enough of it.
More than anyone else,
I need it.
And I need it more and more.

Needing more has made me:
Immature and amateur.
Socialist while socializing.

Who am I to say when?
I'll never have enough.
That's not greed,
I get and get, while you give.

It's pathetic how I run around,
In hopes of making millions.
Without ever investing a dime
In myself.

I don't feel feelings,
Without money.
I do that a lot.
I won't go hungry.

Old man says he knows a way,
Get out of the eight to five.
While I sit here and wonder what,
To do with my spare time.

Contributions are mistakes.
Donations are illogical.
Money is in the air,
Just a bunch of paper.
Zeros in a bank.

I'm Angry

I'm angry that cigarettes are addictive.
I'm angry popcorn gets stuck in my teeth.
I'm angry that I have to shave everyday.

I'm angry that I am angry.
I'm angry boring poems are considered good.
I'm angry that it's hot or cold outside.
I'm angry when I feel out of shape.

I'm angry that there are gangster rappers.
I'm angry that people in groups are idiots.
I'm angry at bad movies making profit.

I'm angry that cigarettes are addictive,
Yet they are so good.

I'm angry that I need to sleep.
I'm angry when I'm tired.
I'm angry when I toss and turn in bed.
I'm angry that I have to get up early.

I'm angry that I am angry,
When I shouldn't have to be.


I'd give my life,
For this woman.
For just one night,
She is my world.

Only sweet with her,
Emotions stir.
Never have anger,

Love is strange,
Makes my heart beat.
Over and over again.
She is so ever sweet.

Love put us together,
Love gave us a start.
I will love you forever,
With all my heart.

I would do anything,
To stay with you.
I would move many mountains,
I would lose all my friends.

To be with you.

Its you that I love,
Its you that I see.
The only one.
You make me happy.

I love you,
I need you.
We were meant to be.


I'm a friend they say,
That's why they hide.
Slave to society,
One Eighty Seven -die.

Its about fear,
Use it against me.
Whatever officer,
Let me go free.

Answer my questions,
With more questions.
Get another job,
Stupid cop.
Get a life.


Serving the lord,
Doesn't mean an award.
Religion has lost its life,
The meaning lays in strife.

The end,
Be dead.
Heaven Sent.

Anti-war needs a war,
Anti means no more.
A miracle is just an act,
Or is it just artifact?

Lack of faith,
Is lack of fate.

Truth without inhibition.
No fear of prohibition.
Wanting emancipation.
Needing a declaration,
For a new America.
A new justice.
A working system.
Not another religion.


I'm at a loss of words,
Fuzzy feeling.
Not quite sure if I'm heard,
Messy dealings.

Make it through the night,
Stay awake.
I could be alright,
My mind will bake.

Stay right here,
I'll just rot.
Thoughts will clear,
Maybe not.

I'll decompose,
Going to sleep.
And flower a rose.
I'm going deep.

I'll tell you again,
My mind is in a lull.
Cause you are a friend,
There is no equal.

Lots of sugar,
Is this a dream?
Feels so real,
Lots of cream.

Say the word,
I'll say when.
All this is,
Is paper and pen.


Come with me.
I try to stay,
There is no place to go.

Can't you see?
There is nothing,
Nothing here for me.

I need someone to believe.

Come with me.
Someone to believe.
All my lies.

I could not breathe,
On my own.

Fate and destiny.
Is what we make of it.

I'm Dirty

No respect for myself,
I wish to be faithful.
Respected by my peers,
Though they are dull.

A real woman is hard to find,
The rest of us are loose devils
In disguise.

Unwanted pregnancies.
Infecting the population
With malcontent.

Full of myself,
and I'm heartless.
Making life a mess.
Without finesse.
Without caress.

Killed me
With cracked beauty,
My vanity.
I'm dirty.

My body
Willingly given,
But I die alone.
Alone in pain,
Alone in vain,
Love and lies.

I must.
Break the chain,
Break away.
Break free from my lover,
My enemy.

Go back to my loving husband,
Beg for forgiveness.

Issues to disagree,


Not a clone,
Not a drone.
I'm so uninterested,
People not being normal.

They're trying to be,
Its obvious as day.
They are trying to escape,
Boring, pathetic lives.

Open eyes see the truth,
As we push harder for reality.
Mainstream, commercial profit,
Bullshit for poetry.

It makes no sense

The underground is tempting,
As it is always.
The underdogs,
Know reality.

Be weird.
Childish and gay.
Be yourself.
You are already...

A minority.



I hate it,
I won't join it.
It has to end,
Cause we're not friends.


A crooked smile,
It makes me sick.
A limp handshake,
A limp dick.

You kill the king,
Blood shed just for the title.
Always scared,
Never controlled.

Democracy is not idiocy,
Ten guilty,
One free.
This does not satisfy me.

Run around like the fowl you are,
Run cowards,
I against you.

Against authority,
Against majority,
Against conformity,
A new entity.

Religious persecution,
You are not God.


This song you don't like,
It doesn't quite feel right.
You're an admitter,
That you're a sinner.

Go ahead and say hello to the new style,
It's been like that for quite a while.
You're a thrill seeker,
A risk taker,
You've been known to be loyal,
And never a traitor.
Winning them over.

Know what is right,
Know your role.
Know your life.
Take control of the console.

Nothing being done or said,
Makes you see red.
You always plan ahead,
The future you don't dread.

Fed up and fed some more,
Misinterpret stories for folklore.
You are what you are,
Doing the best that you can.

This song you don't like.


Fair and balanced,
That's the new rule.
The Just.
Head of State.

Lets kiss the maids,
They work so hard already.

The poor stand in line,
With the rich.

There is food aplenty,
We all eat together.

Our gold is your gold,
Its only a shiny rock.

The Just.
Believes in fair and balanced.
There is love for everyone,
There is no favoritism.
Only equality.


Those thorns.
I don't want to feel thorns anymore.
I used to love,
I used to have my heart on you.
We didn't fight,
We had too much to do.
Well things have certainly changed to the point I don't feel the same.

I don't feel for you anymore.
I don't want to feel your thorns anymore.
Even though its best to keep trying,
To try to make it work.
Well I don't want to see things your way,
Any more.


You're the kind of woman I want,
You're very deep, you're thoughts.
Those nice eyes, I can stare into,
The ones that I see the world thru.

You're not afraid of anything,
You shouldn't have to be.
We've known each other for years,
But we just met yesterday.

Instant best friends,
With benefits.

I like that you always make jokes,
I like that you are always broke.
Me too.

Bring me quality over quantity,
Up my standards.
Right now as I kiss you right now,
We'll make love over and over again.


My throat scratches,
Water that I need.
My throat scratches,
And I bleed.

Too much talking,
Not enough rest.
I'm not lying,
Not feeling my best.

Like an information superhighway,
In its computer technical anarchy.
I teach and learn,
I crash and burn.

I'm not going in,
I'm calling in sick.
I'm worn too thin,
Sleep is the fix.

Fire me? Fuck you.
My lawyers will sue.
I'm no liar,
Sickness was due.


I can't say what I want,
Without being a jerk.
I don't want to be a nice guy,
But I'm not trying to hurt.

Metals dead,
Punk is gone.
Rock N Roll,

So tell me why everyone's a racist, a fascist, a sexist?
Everyone a thief, a liar, a temptress.

Its about the image of ourselves,
A lowly self image.
That we have to crush.
Until we are truly free.


I close my eyes,
And remember...

We fought early in our lives,
We loved more than can be said.
We fight no more,
Cause our relationship is dead.

You have been my worst enemy,
And my best friend.
I wish the best for you,
Cause you've been the best for me.

God knows what we've been through,
Now its in the past.
A fuzzy memory,
For us to laugh and remember.

We tried not to love,
But could not stop.
I close my eyes and think,
How beautiful you are.
And forever will be.

Everywhere I am you go,
Because you will be in my heart.
Even if we never again say hello,
Cause our love can never be apart.

I'll always be here,
When you're in need.
Its everyday without you,
That my heart does bleed.


Animal instincts,
Animal lust.
The time we live in,
A world with no trust.

Just a tiny piece,
A bumblebee or ant.
Part of the colony,
A flower or a plant.

I can't be what I think,
So accept me for who I am.
So now I laugh and drink,
An beast enlightened.

I never sell out,
But I feel married.
I've got soul doubt,
Weight I've carried.

An animal dies but lives,
Through the community,
That is created.


If ignorance is bliss,
My gift to you is this.
This life won't be missed.
But life does persist.

Blackness fills the air,
A long life is rare.
You can choose not to care,
Think nothing of despair.

One day death appears,
And it feels so clear.
When death is near,
There is no more here.

My gift from me to you,
Will pull you through.

Come inside to the other side.

Please come out to play,
The reason for my pain.
We jumped and played,
Pretended fortune and fame.

Fearing no man,
Fearing no land.
We had a plan,
and took a stand.

I won't get teary eyed.
I won't let you get the best of me.


Class of 2000,
I'm in abandon.
I'm a class of my own,
Calls are free to roam.

My hearts content is what I make,
I'm here standing tall all alone.
I am me, I am not a fake,
Sometimes I want to go back home.

Can't you see,
Whats going on here.
Sense the scent,
The scent of fear.

I'm alone,
But I'm not scared.
I'm scarred!
I've been scarred!
Scarred too much,
Scarred too far.
Too hard.

I don't feel a thing,
Nothing, Anything.

Out of sight,
I forgive.
Out of mind.
I forget.

Its all a dream,
I must've slept.
For way, way too long.

No worries and no regrets,
Life does goes on.
With blood, tears and sweat.

See you here,
See you there.
I'll see you everywhere.

This is my reality,
What I have made.
You see the light I see,
Is my shade.


I don't do drugs,
I don't drink much,
My life means more to me.

I don't beat my wife,
I've no reason to cheat,
My life makes me happy.

Love is important,
Love hurts,
Love is worth fighting for.

I don't do drugs,
I don't drink much,
My life means more to me.


I wish you were here,
I feel so close,
I feel your tears.

What is troubling you,
If you tell me,
I'll help you through.
(all of this)

I have hope,
That you will cope.
Its true life isn't fair,
But yes someone does care.

So dry your eyes,
Let the sadness die,
Raise your head to a brand new height.

Lets come together.
You are special,
And it shows.

The sun that is glowing,
The tree that keeps on growing,
The star that is shining,
Mother Earth that is giving,
The fire that keeps on burning,
The wind that is blowing,
The water that is flowing,
The air that we are breathing.
That's you.


We are teenagers,
We are taking over.
We are teenagers,
We are moving forward.

We are the Teenage Terrorists,
We've got a plan for victory.
We have the best military.
Teenage Terrorists.

There's no need for fear of us,
Give your life or turn to dust.
We are taking over,
We are teenagers,
We are moving forward,
We are the Teenage Terrorists,
Teenage Terrorists.
We've got a plan for victory.
We have the best military.
Teenage Terrorists.


I wanted to talk to you all day.
Well I've been home,
You've been home.
I figured we could just talk.

I hate my heart.
I wish I could tear it out,
Stomp on it and make it stop.
Heavy is my heart.

I hate being in love,
It makes me want to hurl.
I don't ever want to be in love again
Its a stress,
A stress I don't need.

Happy but more annoyed,
More sad.

I get annoyed when I can't talk to you,
Sad when I can't get a hold of you.
I can almost feel it,
Sense it.
Call me delusional,

It makes me sick.
You don't understand how i am thinking.
I think I've gone crazy.
You are not.
Yes I am.

I get super jealous at times,
Very emotional.

I get these thoughts,
And it drives me crazy.
I can't deal with it,
Everybody is like the police.

Each Day

Each day I try,
To stay alive.
Its not hard to see,
That we are breathing.

And alive,
A way of life.
Thoughts of being,
A life is being alive.

No more fear,
No more hate,
No regrets.

I shouldn't cry,
I'd like to die.
I am alive.

More insanity,
Each day I try.
I want to be,
Each day I die.

One more chance,
To be free.
I can decide,
Who I was meant to be.

I can see,
I have a destiny.
No more worries,
No more disease.

I cry myself to sleep,
Needing to be something.
Each day I cry,
My hurtfulness advancing.

There is no time,
Nothing is what it seems.
Each day I fly,
Each day is a memory.

There is no shame in poverty.
Can I be denied?
The right for liberty.
It is not implied.

God would cry,
If he knew why,
I cried.
And why I lied.

Into the air I choke.
Into the Earth I lie.
Into God I broke.
Into flames I comply.

I stand up and confess,
Give up hope,
Because of no success,
I must cope.

Glitter Tears

God doesn't seem to like me.
I never get what I want when I ask.
Never has he answered my requests.
It seems that never has he talked to me or enlightened me.

Why? Won't you answer me?
Why? Won't you be seen?
Why? You never answered my prayer.
Why? You let us all live in this HELL.

I don't like to run around praising something I've never had.
Miracles I believe, aliens I believe,
God is real. Lucifer reminds me.

Why then hast thou forsaken me,
Into this darkness reminding me of what cannot be.

Won't you answer me?
Won't you be seen?
You never answered my prayer.
You let us all live in this HELL.

There doesn't seem like a plan at all.
Is Hell just a dream,
Did I make hell up?
Was there only you and me,
Until I made Him?

Up is heaven,
Down is hell.
I want to end it all,
Rid myself of constant torture,
I live and you give.
I don't mean to be mean. I just speak of truth.
If that's too much,
Then why don't you listen?

I never wanted to be in this position,
I never wanted responsibility.
I never chose to live,
Not that i can recall,
I'd rather choose death.
I never wanted to be alive,
Not if i could choose.
But you never even gave me a choice.
If heaven is freedom,
I never wanted it.
Its a freedom you choose,
My freedom is everlasting dream.


I hurt,
And I'm alone
Heart is beating,
I'm on my own.

Anger in my blood,
Therefore I bite.
Prowling the streets,
A bloodhound at night.

No longer in control,
I cannot change.
Vicious is my soul,
It's rather strange.

Mission is classified,
One right and one wrong way.
Prime directives pacified,
One trust, one great day.

Visions ending,
Never living.
No judgments,
Never dying.


Once was a time,
I felt we were to belong.
Our lives were good,
When we never felt wrong.

Thought we would wed,
No biases or second guesses.
Said love would never end,
Needing only sweet caresses.

Here I am for you,
and yet not friends.
Apart from you.
I cannot make amends.

I justified my actions,
Can't decide for you anyways.
I cannot live simply without you,
How I think about those days.

You are a part of me,
Let me into your soul.
Apart and done with me,
Now a friendship role.

You did it to me,
I did it to you too.
That was the game we played,
With my heart.


Nobody knows my nose.
To me, my nose is amazing.
In places like New York City,
or Los Angeles, California...
Plastic surgery fixes everything.

Now if I'm too fat,
Plastic surgery is the key.

What if I'm too white or too black?
Too hairy, too freckly, too ugly?
Happiness is now in the surgery.

What if I'm too gay or homophobic?
Or just not straight enough?
There's homo brain surgery.

What if I'm too short?
Now there's plastic ankle surgery.

Why are my boobs too small?
Plastic surgery will fix everything.

What if...
A man's "down there" is not big enough?
Sorry, for thousands of dollars, you only
Get an inch or two more...
With plastic surgery.


I've killed my intuition,
But I feel good.
I'm ready to rise above,
Maybe I should.

Promoted to lifelong love,
But full of angst.
Slowly I came to,
Not wanting minimum wage.

Knowing no better,
I felt no shame.
For a guilty conscience,
alas it was all the same.

Stirred up moldy batter,
you've got your mold.
Because no matter,
Apathetic I am told.

Failed to break me down,
Fallen asleep on a cloud.
Overall is the now,
Perception was how.
Been in this mood for years,
Doesn't change me at all.

Nightmares come true,
The free thinking majority.
So good day to you.
My life and soul, my affinity.

Were you saying today?
Never before and always after,
My feelings at bay,
Cause you meant tomorrow.