Wednesday, February 7, 2024

Mythical [Make a Dragon Your Way]

Take a lizard. 

Any lizard you find: Green, brown, camouflage, orange.  Personally, I find orange and brown hues to work best and make the best dragon.

Take the ordinary lizard and feed it with enlarging potions daily.

  • 1 1/2 pounds Star of Anise, crushed and fermented with a gallon of vinegar and  5 tablespoons blackened Pink Himalayan salt. I find these in the Mediterranean section of most grocery stores. If you cannot find it, there is always the local mom n pop online alchemy shops.
  • 2 gallons whale blubber; sift and rinse thrice.
  • 10 drops lemon essence (or if not available use 1/2 pound of lemon zest).
  • 4 cups guacamole
  • a pinch of red chili powder. Be careful of using too much here. You want your dragon to breathe fire onto enemies, not get indigestion!
  • 2 cloves garlic if you believe vampires to be making a comeback anytime soon.
  • 1 teaspoon human virgin blood. This counters the acid in the garlic.
  • 2 legs of lamb
  • 4 bay leaves

Take all ingredients and give the lizard a bath in it in the sunlight and in the moonlight. If the sun and the moon are visible at the same time, you may do it only once that day.

After approximately 26 days and 27 nights, the lizard is now large enough to qualify as 'dragon-sized'. You may now proceed with the rest of the spell.

Do not use shampoo. A lot of folks don't realize that evolving lizards/young dragons are naturally oily and they need it for their scales to shed properly. You may use a light conditioner weekly, if desired. No coconut scents though.

Rub an officially recognized beard oil into the scalp of the lizard daily to keep them fresh and smelling good. Once their wings start growing, your work is done. Check in yearly to make sure their nails are smoothed out, but generally everything they do is now self-cleaning. Remember to speak in soft tones and never get them mad.



Of everything


The major components of being

What will it be... when we're fully machines?

Water, rain, oceans

In 2030

Might not be a necessity

I don't know

I wish I did

For the sake of humanity

I wish I did