Cause That's What I'm After (if only)

If only I'd fix my hair up a little more

So I could be pretty for once

Cause that's what I'm after

So I could be noticed more

If only my belt and clothing was more styled

I'd be more liked

Cause that's what I'm after

One day I just might

If only I got rid of those damn rugs

More love would I get

Cause that's what I'm after

Then I'd be set

I HATE IT

If only I grated blocks of Parmesan cheese

I'd develop real taste

Cause that's what I'm after

Since store-bought isn't for winners

If only my apartment had more room

There'd be peace in the world

Cause that's what I'm after

Even though I have no peace in my heart

If only I were closer to my friends

And saw them in person all the time

Cause that's what I'm after

Everyone is online and has been for a while now

I HATE THAT

If only I had a car

Because all the greats owned a vehicle

Cause that's what I'm after

To drive aimlessly around the city

If only I hated heavy metal

Since only pop music is important

Cause being popular matters

At least that's what Redditors say

I HATE THEM

If only I wouldn't criticize you

And only criticized myself

Everything I am

Is just a My Little Pony sock

I HATE IT

If only I hated myself more

And didn't hate so hard

It was me and my family's upbringing that ruined me

I'd get so far

If only I wasn't friends with my exes

Because once it's over we can't be in each other's lives

Cause that's what I'm after

Unless there's a baby involved

Then I have no choice

I HATE IT

Motion of Emotions

This is what it's like

No one is really right
Thinking there’s answers
That there's purpose

Now that you know it

I’m sure that you want it

And its lies that come along

Who do you think you are?

A prophet?

Why do you lie?
Lies made of pain
After this where will you go?
Back to one and then you're done


I'll make sure
Everyone gets what they deserve
Let me in
And you'll find yourself

You've only let out

Yourself to me

Smoked mirrors and copies
But I see you
The real failure
What you really are

A lost soul


A darkness carried
Sadistic, scarred
I'm calling you
So answer me

Speak Fast Take Forever to Die

To pay the mortgage I sing, produce, write, direct and act

As well as labor and data entry

Born rich in mind and I like to speak fast

Learned I could do poetry as an attack

Older now so positivism is in my raps

At 2PM I like to take myself two hour naps

I take good care of myself and loved one's health

Instead of going after imaginary power and wealth

Main goal in life is to be my best me

To strengthen the family tree

To spread peace

Revolutionary ideals

To make my family meals

I spin what good life is considered

By putting the car back on the wheels

Driving like a model citizen

Look people in the eyes

Not be afraid

And fight for what's right

Baby and a Girl

I think about you so much

You're part me 

I look at you and think

You're just a baby

And a girl

You have such a laugh

That I almost cry every time I hear it

It's so obvious you're so smart

I'm so proud to be your dad

You make me laugh and you make me cry

All at the same time

You make me feel incomplete 

When you're away

I think about you often

And I hope that you're at the least okay

You're growing so fast

I don't want you to

But I have to let it happen

You have to be you

I hope you'll be proud of me too

And call me Dad

I wish you the best in life

I wish you peace and joy

Such simple wishes

But I wish them the hardest 

For you

You're growing so fast

All Birds are Regular

A featherless bird.
Now that's absurd!

What about a Hummingbird?
That's a regular.

A duck?
A bird that's a quacker.

New flying dinosaurs.

The word regular,

I shake my head. 

Nothing is.

All birds are regular,

Even the peacock.

Flying is preferred,

Except those irregular.

------------------------------
Dedicated to DS Draeko.

Blue Blood

I bled today.

I forgot how much it hurts.
​I felt real again.

It didn't seem like reality,

Before.

My life sprayed out beneath.
And I was me.

It was nice,
To bleed.

​I finally broke,

My machine.

Myself.

I can build back up,

And be the same monstrosity I was.​

Maybe I can become better this time.

Who knows?

I hope.